Today has done it.
Today was one of those days when you just sorely, utterly regret you were even born. Hell, you can't even uncover the veil behind your monstrous birth and it just seems like that day told the world it's end. It's like your just saw the world in it's blue, sad, sorrow filled, cruel, trashy look.
As I walked down the corridor, with its shadowy eerie lights, something inside of me began to tighten, and affirm its strong hold on my life string.
My chest was crushed down, and I was suddenly out of breath, but I crawled my way till I reached the window, and saw of vision of the world outside, as my life was slowly slipping away. And I must say what an AWEFUL and DREADFUL feeling this is, this helplessness, this choking feeling, that tells you " You don't have anything else to live for and it shall be this way and no other".
I took a look to the environment outside, and gazed longly into the grey dark sky.
And I began to ponder, what the world would be like if I wasn't here. I reached a quite brilliant conclusion if I do say so myself, and do you even want to know, do you even care about what I think the world would be like?
It would be the same as EVER, the same thing it has always been. A hell hole for the weak, an eternal party for the strong. The rainbow would shine as bright as ever, in it's tones of black and white, the children would play merrily their mindless silly little games. My old bones won't change this generation, my soul is too ancient and tired for others to understand. I wish I could detach myself from this here, from people, so I can't feel hurt by their rejection of my presence. I feel shaken, I feel mad, I feel like the moment I take a foot to the ground I'll fall and dissapear.
My eyes sting from all these tears I let go while I grab myself to life, but I wish I had the courage to just let it all go, from once and for all....
I want to slip into another reality, or maybe even none at all, as long as this all feels like a dream..
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